Not For My Life
by G.A. AnimeFan4
Summary: Must Read ONE YEAR First! Long One-Shot. It was his fault he hadn't told anyone about the condition he was in. As he was dying alone, one person arrived in time to hold him close. But even after death, as loyal as he was, the great Yusei Fudo would live on, and watch over his friends.


**MUST READ ****_ONE YEAR_**** FIRST, PEOPLE! OTHERWISE IT MIGHT GET A BIT CONFUSING! Please R & R!**

**One-Shot. A kind of sequel to ****One Year**** when at the end and Yusei says he's going to die. Well, here is what happens only a week later. I have no idea what's wrong with me, but I apparently like writing depressing, sad things. So, remember, Yusei came into contact with Momentum too many times, and it's caused a disease without a cure and he hasn't told anyone about it.**

^.^

_Yusei Fudo-_

I stare up at the ceiling of my room, doing my best to stay sane. The lights are dim, and an eerie silence fills my place. I'm home, all alone, and slowly dying.

Ever since I'd first been diagnosed with Momentum poisoning, I've done my best to ignore it. I haven't told anyone of my condition, so no one knows I'm slowly slipping away.

I've a pretty good idea of where everyone is right now. Martha's probably trying to calm down a cranky elder or fixing up a stubbed toe that belonged to one of the orphans she takes care of. Saiga's most likely off on his own, wandering around the city. I know for a fact Zora's in her home with her son, watching him play around with clocks. Carly's obviously trying to call Jack for the 100th time this week.

As for Jack, Crow, Aki, and the twins? I have no idea.

I'm having difficulty breathing now. Quick rasps echo around my room, pounding in my ears. I can feel the irregular beats of my failing heart. It hurts, but I flatly refuse to think about that.

And in all of this, memories manage to find their way in my head. From my childhood in Satellite, to being thrown into the Facility. The Fortune Cup, and meeting so many of my friends there. The Dark Signer war, and how I had to face Kiryu in a duel that I didn't want to take place. The WRGP, Ark Cradle, Z-ONE. It all comes rushing back.

Maybe this is it. My life is flashing before my eyes, like they say will occur before death.

For a second, I can't breathe. I gasp harshly, forcing my lungs to work again. There's a deep burning in my chest, and I shut my eyes, biting through it. Gradually, it begins to subside enough for me to reopen my eyes. Eyes that I know are clouded and distant.

Sweat slides down my neck as I take in another breath. My whole body feels weak, and the heat of the thin sheets draped over my shivering form is nearly unbearable.

I hear the soft sound of footsteps and I turn my head, still resting on the pillow, to see them. I know I'm hallucinating, but I can't help but feel both comfort and utter sorrow by what I see.

They are all there. Ghostly and silent, but it's them. Everyone. Jack. Crow. Rua. Ruka. Aki.

They look at me through pale eyes and give me an assuring nod. I can't help but smile. I'm delirious, but this...this just hits me. I miss them so much, and then fate throws me this. In my weakened state, I can see my _family_. But the cruelty of it all, is that they aren't really here.

My heart pauses suddenly, and I grit my teeth, doing my best not to scream. This pain, it's horrible.

The hallucinations begin to fade just as my heart beats once again.

"No...," I whisper. I don't want them to go. They aren't real, but I can't stand to see them leave again.

But unfortunately, delirium doesn't work that way. And within moments, they vanish. I feel myself go numb. I have to experience this again? I've already watched them leave. Why do I have to again?

With a shaky hand, I reach out to where they had been. My arm drops, fingers brushing against the floor. My vision is blurry and I can't focus. The pain in my chest is intensifying and I know that I can't hang on much longer.

The glint of something catches my eye. I slowly move my head so I can look. It's that picture.

It's my favorite. It's of when Team 5Ds won the WRGP. I've kept it for so long, and I don't plan on getting rid of it. Again, I barely manage to smile.

I know they're all happy. I know they're living their lives, and that's all I ever wanted for them.

I just wish I could share a laugh with them again. Those days before the _Split_, they were the absolute best.

I squeeze my eyes shut again as the pain flares up, then dulls. But again, I open them, continuing to stare at that photo. I'm going to die, and that's going to be the last thing I see. If I can't die with surrounded by my friends, then this was the how it going to happen.

Memories are still spiraling through my mind, half of which I can't register.

Downstairs, I hear a loud knock on the door. I don't answer though. My voice won't work and I suddenly can't breathe again. As I'm catching my breath, I hear, "Yusei, you open this door right now! I know you're home!"

It takes me a minute. I can't tell who's screeching for me at first, but then it clicks.

_Martha._

"Yusei!" it comes again. "Open up! I haven't seen you all week and you're starting to worry me! Please, just answer the door!"

I can't. I can't even call out. My sight goes fuzzy again and the pain returns at full force.

I hear the door slam open. I'd forgotten that Martha knows where I hide the spare key. I can hear her walking around, saying my name.

But I ignore her, looking back at that photo. I remember that day so clearly. It had been both great and terrible. We had won, but it had also started a whole new ordeal that had devastated the city.

Martha's footsteps are on the stairs now, drawing closer. But I hardly notice them.

That's when I feel it. As I take in every detail of that picture, a tear runs down my marked cheek. I haven't cried in so long, and this feels so strange.

My door swings open. But I don't look. I just stare at that photo. I can't tear my eyes from it.

"Yusei!" I hear Martha gasp. She's at my side instantly, gently moving my head to face her. "Yusei, what's happening?"

She sounds so worried, and I don't blame her. If I had walked into this, I probably would've freaked, too. But then, she is my foster parent. She's always cared for me.

She reaches down and lightly moves my arm back onto the bed. "Yusei, what's going on? What haven't you told me?"

That pain grips my heart again, and I can't reply. Martha can apparently tell how much it hurts, because she begins to stroke my hair and murmur comfortingly to me. I feel like a child again, when I would get sick. Only then, I wasn't dying.

I look up her, recovered ever so slightly, and try to tell her what was happening to me. But my voice won't work. It comes out a barely audible whisper. "Sorry..."

This is all I can get out.

She wipes away her own tear and sits on the bed next to me. She knows. She knows that I'm going to die and that she can't help me. No one can, at this point.

"It's okay," she choked out, but her words were so convincing. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

That was a lie, and she knows it. But sometimes, parents lie to their children to protect them. And in this case, it's alright to lie. She knows that I know it's all false.

I can still feel her rubbing her thumb through my black hair, trying to comfort me. And somehow, it's working. At least now, I'm not going to die alone. I'm not going to pass away for someone to walk into my home and find me dead in my own house. And this is perhaps the only thing I'm grateful for right now.

"Remember when you were eight?" she murmurs. I close my eyes, holding back tears as I listen. "You, Jack, and Crow had gone and broken my vase? It was my favorite and you boys were so scared to tell me. You three tried everything to put it back together. And you didn't know that I was standing in the doorway watching. You all managed to put it back together, but it was absolutely dreadful looking," she chuckles halfheartedly. "When you noticed me there, I don't think I've ever seen boys run so fast in all my life."

I purse my lips, recalling that day. My hearts stops again and this time I allow myself to scream. But Martha just continues to run her fingers through my hair and tell me stories from when I was a kid. Each tale lasts only a minute or two, but I grasp hold of every word she says, not wanting to die more than ever right now.

Finally, she says in a soft, soothing voice, "I'm always going to love you, you know that, right? I wish you would have told me about this, Yusei. Maybe we could have done something," she lets a few tears stream down her face. I stare up at her, unable to speak. I hate this. I hate having to put her through this. "Your friends, all of us, are going to miss you so much."

I try to tell her that I'll miss them all, too. That I'm so sorry for not telling her the truth. That I'm sorry for breaking that vase when I was little. That I'm scared and don't want to die. But I can't.

I lose the ability to take in air again, and gasp with no prevail. Martha moves her hand from my hair to my arm, massaging it as I fight to breathe.

I remember when I thought I wasn't scared of this. I was foolish, thinking this was going to be easy. And here I am, grasping hold of my last minutes alive, terrified.

Martha bends down and gives me a soft, gentle hug. I can't return it, but it feels to reassuring. She's scared for me, too. She knows I'm on the edge now. So do I.

After a while, she pulls away and gives my arm a light squeeze. "You're so young," she tells me quietly. "I'm so sorry...that I-I can't do anything more."

But what she doesn't understand is how much I appreciate her being here. I'm so relieved that I won't be alone on this.

Another pause in my heartbeats and my body seizes up. I can't hear or see anything. The pain is preventing that. But I can vaguely feel Martha rubbing my arm, and I try to focus on that. That pattern of her cool hand against my hot skin, running up and down my arm. Up and down. Up and down.

And suddenly, I'm not scared anymore. I don't want to die, but I can't stop it either.

Somehow, I get my eyes open again. I blink slowly up at Martha, who smiles sadly at me. Just barely, I return it.

I force myself to move so I can look at that picture one last time. I'm going to miss them all so much. I wish it didn't have to be this way. And now, that stubborn, ignorant fool of me finally gets it. As I look over that photo, my eyes land on Aki. I get it now. I loved her, and always will. And I'll never get a chance to tell her.

I can't tell anyone how much they mean to me.

But hopefully, they know it by now.

And this's the last thing I'll ever see before I close my eyes. Once I do, I can still feel Martha brushing her hand along my arm as I take in a few more hoarse breaths. There're slowly becoming fainter.

That was it.

And luckily, I didn't go alone. I had Martha, and those memories.

Memories I hadn't traded for my life.

^.^

_Jack Atlas-_

I got the call from Martha that morning. I hadn't been able to understand why she was so upset at first, but then she told me. I almost dropped the phone.

Yusei Fudo was dead.

We didn't talk long. She still had others to inform, and I was about ready to black out. I set down the phone shakily and took a seat on the couch. I put a hand over my eyes and leaned forward, trying to process what I had just been told. Apparently Yusei had been sick with Momentum poisoning, and hadn't told anyone.

I slammed my fist against the coffee table, suddenly angry with myself. I should have gone back. If I had, than maybe I could have done something. Or least, I could have been there when he passed.

Yusei had always seen the good side of my personality. He forgave me for taking his first Runner and Stardust Dragon a few years ago. It should have been me. I was the one with the bad attitude, not him.

It wasn't fair.

^.^

_Crow Hogan-_

I stiffly walked to my room and slammed the door shut, alarming the team I had recently joined just outside. I collapsed on my bed and buried my face in my pillow, holding back tears.

I'd just been called my Martha.

My closest friend, my brother, was gone.

Why? Why now? Why him? I had been planning to go back in just four months. I'd been making plans for it. And then I get this. What was the point now?

Why had it been Yusei? He had been too good of a person! He shouldn't have been the one to die. And I hadn't been there for him. Sure, Martha was, but he'd been so close to leaving this world alone, it was sickening.

Why him?

It wasn't fair.

^.^

_Rua-_

I put my arm around my sister's shoulders, not even trying to calm her down. It wouldn't have helped, because I was in tears and couldn't control my voice. I looked down at my quivering hand and remembered the exact words Martha had spoken.

_"Rua, Ruka. I-I'm so sorry. It's Yusei. He...he was sick from Momentum and...he didn't make it. He died last night. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have had to find out this way..."_

They continued to run through my thoughts as I sobbed. I held Ruka tighter and shut my eyes, trying to imagine life without Yusei. He had taught me so much, believed in me. And now...

I thought about how much I had wanted to go back and see him someday. And now, that wasn't going to happen.

It wasn't fair.

^.^

_Ruka-_

I buried my head in the crook of Rua's neck and shoulder, hugging him. Since that call from Martha, I hadn't been able to stop crying. Yusei was...he wasn't...

I couldn't think about it. All I could do to was cry for my friend. I could hardly believe that I wasn't ever going to see him again.

Martha had sounded like she was in shock on the phone. At first, I had been, too. After the numb feeling had left, I'd started balling. Rua had taken me to the couch and sat me down. Now, he was in tears as well. But this time, I wasn't giving him a hard time about it. Rua had looked up to Yusei, and in truth, so had I.

Turns out, my wish hadn't come true. The team hadn't all gotten back together...in time. We'd lost our leader. That's what Yusei was to us. A leader. And now, he was gone.

I missed him so much.

It wasn't fair.

^.^

_Aki Izayoi-_

I sat at my desk, filling out a long list of questions for the test I was taking on medics. My cell phone next to me vibrated and I answered it quietly.

"Hello, Izayoi Aki speaking. How may I help you?"

At first, I smiled. On the other line was Martha. But for some reason, she sounded like she had been crying recently.

My expression slowly turned to one of horror. After I got some of the details, she let me go. I stared down at the paper, which I then crumpled up and threw.

Yusei was gone. He was...he was dead.

I stood up and hurried for the door. I shoved past a few girls, even causing one to drop her folders. But I ignored her shouts of irritation and burst into the lady's restroom. I slammed my hands down on the counter and looked in the mirror. My head was pounding and my eyes were growing red. Pretty soon, tears were flooding down my cheeks.

I closed my eyes and shrieked. I sank to my knees and leaned against the side of the counter. I continuously hit my fist against it, choking back wails.

I'd never told him. He hadn't known that I loved him. And now I could never tell him. I would never know if Yusei loved me back or not. He was lost now.

"Yusei!" I screamed. Then whispered, "Why...? Why didn't you tell anyone, you idiot? Why...?"

It wasn't fair.

^.^

**One month later.**

They were all there. Jack, Crow, Rua, Ruka, Aki, and Martha. As well as Kiryu, Carly, Ushio, Mikage, Saiga, and Sherry. They had all come home to Neo Domino to visit the resting place of their friend. They stood in the dusky sprinkle of rain, a dark sky looming over them. They stood before a headstone, reading:

_Dr. Yusei Fudo_

_Beloved Friend and Hero_

No one cried. They all knew that Yusei wouldn't have wanted that. But there was a silence that filled the air. A deep mourning by the 'family'. And it was thanks to their fallen friend that they had become a family.

And as they stood there, one person at a time telling a small story or what that man meant to them, they didn't know. They didn't know that he was there, nearby, watching.

The spirit of a man who had died and left his friends behind. The spirit of a man who's last thought had been about his family.

And he was there, leaned against a tree just a ways behind them. His black and gold hair was still, not disturbed by the soft breeze or small raindrops. He wore dark jeans, combat boots, and a black-and-red t-shirt. His signature blue jacket was no where, left behind like his living friends.

His blue eyes, now clear and lively, swept over each and every person standing over his grave. From Jack, to Crow, to the twins, to Martha, everyone else, and finally Aki. And since he'd died, he knew that Aki had felt the same way he did. He loved her, and she loved him. He just wished he would have stuck around long enough to tell her that. But fate had been cruel to him. He'd had a short life...but it had been a good one. Sure, he was a Satellite, and he'd been burdened with some heavy responsibility, but he'd been lucky to have his friends with him.

The man smiled to himself, remembering all of those good times. He'd been a lucky guy. And he truly believed that.

And no matter what, he wasn't going to leave their sides. He'd always be there, keeping a watchful eye on them. He was known for being loyal, and he planned to keep that record, even through death.

This was the death of a man named Yusei Fudo, who had touched many lives, and never gave up on the people he cared about. Even after he let go of life, he still watches over them, refusing to abandon them.

And it may not have been fair, but he was contempt. He was able to be at their sides, and he had the memories.

Memories he hadn't traded for his life.

^.^

**-****_G-A:'(_**


End file.
